Breathe

I am in a terrible mood.  I just am.  I sat down to write last night and was too mad to do so.  Today was going better but then more life happened and now I'm mad again.  

So.

Now I'm mad writing.

But isn't that how it goes sometimes?

Mad writing.  Mad reading.  Mad praying.  Mad worshipping. 

I'm not mad at God but how many times do we find ourselves in just the most perfect mindset ever for prayer? Or worship?  

Yeah.  Not too often. 

I started thinking about the idea of breathing.  I went to search up some verses of comfort to write about breathing in scripture or smelling the sweet fragrance of Jesus.

Instead, I fully believe God snagged me with Job 9:18.  I always try to read for context and not just cherry-pick scripture so I went to Job and read all of chapter 9. 

Go read it now. 

I'll wait. 

Lemme just say.... my mad has NOTHING on Job.  I mean I thought I talked myself in circles but I feel like Job and I could be friends.  He's like- I could be mad but who am I to question God because just God can squish the mightiest monsters and I'm really no one and everything I have is from Him anyway so yeah this sucks but I don't understand God and don't need to and....

I mean come. on.  I know good and well you and I both have had conversations equally chaotic with that chapter. 

But then.  Oh man but then.

Go back and read verse 33-35 again.

If only there was a..... see it?  A mediator.  Someone who can bring God and I together because my strength isn't capable of doing anything like that.

And as I'm reading I'm like.  Well crap.

I have the fully story that Job didn't but here I am spinning my wheels round and round over things that are in fact big and deserve weight but are so microscopic when compared to the fact that I have JESUS bridging me and the Lord of all creation.  That means I don't have to spin alone.  That means I can actually read verse 18 and say nope.  He will let me catch my breath because He gave me His own Son to pay for my sins so that I can come before Him with all my spinning.  He can give me that breath.  He IS that breath.  He already knows my spin and my chaos... He's just waiting for me to bring it to Him because He made the way for me to do just that. 

Right now, write out your chaos.  Take the thing you spin out on most or whatever you're currently spinning about and write it out.  (If you type it out, bang away at that keyboard.  The sound has some very asmr therapeutic aspects.)

Now, literally hold it up.  Palms up and open.  

Pray over it, but start by thanking God for the fact that you CAN pray over it and for the truth that He already knows all of it and loves you dearly and wants you to hand it over anyway so He can help you breathe. 

Last, but not least....

Breathe.