Can’t get no satisfaction

Do you ever feel empty? Like you scroll over and over but you’re still unsettled and bored? You watch a show or try to scroll more or pull up your email but you’re still so overwhelmingly listless? Or everyone around you continues on but you just wish someone would sit down and listen? help? But you also really don’t want to talk to anyone, much less ask for help? You just want to sit. To wallow. To eat. To cry. To curl up under a blanket and stare at the tv while you let your mind just stop?

Yeah. That’s me right now in this moment. If you knew me in real life, you probably dropped the book just now. I’m loud and outgoing and constantly trying to cheer people up or make people laugh. Looking back through this I’m thinking that they’ll try to cut this one first because it won’t match the overall tone of my writing (and they’re right). It’s all part of the way I try to get “full”. Then, things happen like deaths in the family or bad days at work and I feel empty again because on those days, faking it doesn’t work. I match the energies of those around me so I’m immediately drained. Aaaand then I use that as an excuse for being the least enjoyable person to be around.

Psalm 42:10 says “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!”

If you read the entire chapter, you’ll hear the lamenting and discouragement throughout. He even goes so far as to say “I remember how it used to be,” which to me resonates so perfectly. For me, it’s “Yesterday I was so happy! Why am I so sad today?” or “I am surrounded by Amazon boxes, when will I feel satisfied?”

Your feelings are valid. My feelings matter. But our feelings aren’t permanent. We can relate to the psalmist and say I WILL put my hope in God and I WILL praise him again! We know that today’s grief or sadness does not determine our future. If you read through chapters 42-44, you’ll see that he continues with discouragement but weaves in reminders of what God has done for the people before. After that, 45 and 46 are lyrical verses praising the Lord. How powerful that is! Prayer, praise, and reflection can bring our perspectives around to the fact that our daily circumstances don’t change the constant that is God. His plan isn’t dependent on my mood and thank goodness it isn’t.

As you close out your time today, pray through the following using as many words or emotions as you can for each blank. God won’t tire of hearing your pain or your worry or your meh. He’s listening.

- Lord, my heart is feeling ____________.

- Jesus, I know that you are ________________.

- Thank you God for _____________.