You vs Church

Ever been burned by church? Girl, same. I broke up with a guy in high school and his mother literally chewed me out for an hour on a youth camp trip. My friends could hear her through the wall while I just sat and cried. When we returned home, women I’d known my whole life started being ugly and ignoring me because they were her friends. I had to be careful about where I sat in church because of how uncomfortable it was to be near them or to hear them talking about me. I left for college and went with friends from time to time but church no longer felt like a safe place. It took until I was about twenty-five to finally find the right place for me, a place where everyone from the top down admits they’re broken and just doing their best to serve Jesus.

My husband went through a divorce with his first wife. Know what the pastor said when he and his parents went looking for help trying to reconcile with the wife? The pastor basically said he couldn’t get involved because her parents were long-standing members. Translate: they were one of the wealthy families who donated a lot to the church. My husband had been in church from birth until then but that was what sent him away from church. When we began dating, he tried my church and saw the difference. We’ve now been attending and serving there together our whole marriage.

Let’s be clear. THE church isn’t the problem here. PEOPLE are the problem. Church has become a place of bigotry, misogyny, guilt, shame, and above all--- hypocrisy. People are less and less likely to attend church because of experiences in their past that pushed them away and for what? What do people get out of being ugly to one another, especially under the guise of Christianity? I don’t get it. But that said--- church is not the same as THE church.

But I do know that THAT is why it’s important for us to do the work. Put on the armor. Read the Bible. Share our stories. Be transparent about our sin and ask for forgiveness. People aren’t going to start loving Jesus because you hit them on the head with the Bible. They’re going to love Jesus because they see you loving others and how YOU love Jesus.

1 Corinthians 3:9 tells us that WE are God’s field that he will work in and WE are the building. We’re co-workers in service to God. Then in verse 17 He tells us that God will destroy anyone who destroys His temple and that we together are His temple.

So why are we doing the very thing He says He’ll destroy us over? Why do we tear one another down within the church? We knowwww what that feels like. We know the pain that causes. We know that we, if you want to take it further, are responsible for leading others to Jesus so when we’re leading people away (through snark, gossip, lack of service) we’re actively working against Him?

Today you have homework in addition to your prayer. (Don’t give me that look.)

- Pray over your church. If you don’t have a church, pray over THE church. Pray that God will bless what is bringing others to His peace and love and salvation.

- Think of someone who’s seen the wrong side of you where church is concerned. Find time to make things right.

-Think of someone you could invite to coffee or lunch and share your faith journey. If you feel it’s right, invite them to church but if not just leave them with the knowledge that you are there for them if they ever want to know more.

-Last but not least, find where you can serve. Service doesn’t have to mean you’re watching kids or spending three nights a week at church, but it does mean sacrifice and pouring out your life for the sake of Jesus. Pray that God will give you opportunities.

**Extra thoughts: If you are uncomfortable at your church for any reason, you do not owe anyone a reason as to why you feel like you need to leave. Find a church where you feel you can worship freely and serve others fully. Just because you grew up there or because your hairdresser’s sister’s boyfriend’s ex-mailman said it’s the best church doesn’t mean it’s right for you.